If you want to live a happy life and make your dreams come true, having high self-esteem is a crucial asset. Yet being exposed to unfair or overly harsh criticism can make one’s self-esteem melt away. Don’t let it ever happen to you!
Low self-esteem comes in two forms – through obvious signs of insecurity or through behavior that is seemingly the opposite, but is actually a mask used intentionally or (much more often) unintentionally to cover those very insecurities. Yet the root cause of the problem is nevertheless the same – the person has been told too many times they are not worth it and at some point in life they started believing it.
Unreasonable criticism might be unfair or “just” expressed the wrong way, but the key is to understand why someone is sending those particular messages and if what they are saying has indeed something to do with you – or not.
One could say things that are not quite true or not true at all for various reasons, one of them being bad intentions. But there’s something else that’s even far more detrimental.
What if a close person was full of good intentions and their mouth was full of negative statements about you?
If that’s the case, you need to pause for a moment and think about what their opinion on the issue is. Does their sentiment match yours and to what extent? If you want to turn right and a friend of yours believes you should go left, they may keep telling you that you’re going the wrong way as this is how they see it. Of course, mature people respect other people’s choices and support them to achieve their goals, but unfortunately not all the people are mature enough and sadly some are not being able to look beyond their own perspectives and desires.
That’s why you should always consider if the criticism you get to hear is meaningful or not – you might have lost your way from someone else’s point of view and yet you might be heading into the very right direction to achieve your goals. If you’re looking for a soul mate and another person believes it’s all about looks, they will obviously care a whole lot more about their appearance while you’ll be laid back. They may start – and keep – drawing your attention to what you’re doing “wrong” and if you can’t see what’s happening and where that’s coming from, it might eventually make you feel less attractive and less confident.
Of course, if you and someone else are on the same page overall, you should definitely consider their comments (and it’s in your best interest to do so). But if they are questioning your capabilities only because you chose a different road for yourself, that kind of message makes no sense at all and you should ignore it. As soon as you realize how meaningless it is, you’ll dismiss it in no time.
*photo (tumbnail): pixabay.com / AdinaVoicu
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